The world is nuts!!!

[4.9 EF Futura]

You're right mate. The world is a messed up place. I mean, are acts of kindness like this so few and far between... that this is the reaction they generate?

Im sure we dont need to convince you that what Mrs OBJ did was a kind, sincere gesture. If it breaks the rules... then i guess "so be it".

Hope that, more than anything, Mrs OBJ gets to keep doing what she loves doing... sounds like a lot of people are benefiting from her kind nature.

[DOC]

There is nothing wrong with the world, or your wifes guesture, where it went wrong was the way it was done.

You must first put yourself in the mothers shoes and in that familys thinking / way of life.

I have helped these people for years with countless guestures of good will similar to your wife, but to get this to work properly you need to take another approach, this is not what i think would work but from years of this work.

From the mothers view this can be very unconfortable and embarrasing, regardless of how she looks or acts, just imagine how bad you would feel, if you knew you could not afford all the things that others could and that having charity drop by can and does cause anger, this anger is not so much in this case the new shoes, but the anger would have been that she could not provide those shoes.

It is better if doing this to talk with the mother and even in that you just dont blurt out i'll buy the shoes, it needs a high level of thought, in something like a general greet and chat, then you might break into something like

hey you might be able to help me out, my sister gave me some shoes but i cant use them, they look a similar size as mary's shoes , I.m probably going to give them to the salvo's but they are like new, did you want to see if they would fit mary first ?

Or similar lines to that, you need to make the person feel like its thier idea and that it is not charity in a sense, she now would feel good as she has used her own thought pattern to save these shoes from going of the salvo's and as a mother provided for her daughter within her own means.

As above this approach is not based on what might work as i have lost count of the hundreds of times this approach has been used, to pass along clothes, toys and gifts to those who need them.

AS for the situation now where mum is upset, this would easily be fixed by quietly talking with the mum and expressing your applogies and in that you should have handled it better, now once again this may have people saying all sorts of stupid things like your joking, but done right you can reverse the mothers thinking to where she accepts the appology and feels now confortable with the outcome with the end result being this little girl gets to keep her shoes, the best outcome for all.

[tamara1779]

What a joke. Here's my situation. I am a teacher at a public school. I am sitting at home today, using up sick leave because if I have to go in and work with any more morons, I swear I'll slap someone. Don't get me wrong, there are some great teachers at my school. Unfortunately the idiots who want to call kids names, berate them & just generally give them a hard time are there too. Many of these kids are coming every day without lunch, shoes, hats, books etc. I'm told that despite this obvious lack of parenting, that it is not abuse. meanwhile these kids get payed out on by ******* head teachers whose sole aim is to collect a fortnightly paycheck and make some kids lives worse than what is is now. I'm with your wife, if people like us don't stay in the system to help these kids, no other **** will. Get your missus to go to her Union rep, if the rep won't help, cantact me- I'm a rep and love feeding it to dumbs****s. You might also want to notify family services of the plight of this child. Nothing p***es me more than kids copping a hard time for no reason and those trying to help getting kicked in the a**e for it.
I have vented, feel better, but still want to smack someone!!!!

[uranium_death]

Ok. I am entering the education stream in a years time (was meant to be in it now, but I put it off for a year).

I have already prepared myself for such things.

My policy is, "Be yourself."

Your wife deeply cares about this child and you know what? She should stick to her guns and say it how it is.

It's a hard situation. If your wife had approached the mother and said, "Your daughter has terrible blisters on her feet and needs new shoes", I can imagine her blowing up saying, "Are you saying I am a bad mother? I know how to look after my daughter etc etc."

Some people do not deserve children. He's a nice example.

Your wife should stick to her beliefs and if she is reprimanded and possibly axed, talk to a few major media bodies. It will reveal how stupid the education system is, as well as the politics of parents.

[DOC]

Originally Posted by uranium_death

Your wife should stick to her beliefs and if she is reprimanded and possibly axed, talk to a few major media bodies. It will reveal how stupid the education system is, as well as the politics of parents.

What's important here ?, a quiet resolution where a little girl gets to wear some nice shoes without any further fuss or feelings that may lead her to think she is also at fault, or creating a sheite storm that has no benifit to anyone.

Sure go and save the world with a get together of all people and work out your plans to rid the world of silly parents and maybe even end poverty, as bob hawk has said" no child shall live in poverty"

But for now the issue at hand is one little girl and her shoes and you have to ask what is more important, my high horse or the little girl.

[Yellow_Festiva]

Hey Uranium Death,

Good to hear, may I offer some advice?

Work as a casual for a year in the area you hope to work in on a full time basis. Its the BEST paid homework you can do when deciding what school you want to commit to eventually.

Cheers

[Rodp]

Sad indeed, the spotlight should be shone on the parents for putting their daughter under a serious health risk and not your wife who is trying to do the humane and very decent thing.

While I would be dissolusioned by the action taken if it were me, I'd be secretly hoping that I was given the sack, lawyers would have a field day with that!

[uranium_death]

Originally Posted by Yellow_Festiva

Hey Uranium Death,

Good to hear, may I offer some advice?

Work as a casual for a year in the area you hope to work in on a full time basis. Its the BEST paid homework you can do when deciding what school you want to commit to eventually.

Cheers

Yep, that is exactly what I was going to do. Casual Relief Teaching.

The course doesn't offer much experience and I don't learn by listening to tutors prattle on about whatever it is, or by diving into books.

So yes, I was planning to do CRT first year out just to try a few things out, leech a few plans, put my name in the ring etc.

But thanks for the confirmation that my idea is good.

My old man thinks I'm going to just go out there first year and teach with my own class. No way. Our washing machine doesn't like pooey underpants.

So yeah, I'll take the CRT path.

[Falcon Coupe]

Outbackjack, you and you're wife are champions in the book of any sane person, well done, hopefully common sense will prevail and the mother will be made to wear the shoes for a month.

[Outbackjack]

Thanks guys for all your kind words of support. As of today, after meetings with the school principle, things are looking a little better. The principle has refused to take any action against my wife. And will not take the issue any further until he recieves a legible written complaint from Betty's mother, who says she is going to the Minister. I doubt that anything much else will come of this. Betty and her mother are already on the comunity service watch list. She is considered a child at risk, but there is not enough evidence to take action, yet. Sanity seems to be taking hold here. I for one hope that Betty is liberated from her circumstances soon. Once she is around the 13 or 14 mark things for her will not be pleasant. Or in other words she will have to face a whole new set of dangers.

Cheers all. Once again, Thanks heaps. Some of the things said here made my wife cry like a baby.

[Casper]

Good to see sanity prevail. You wife did the right thing and should hold her head up high.

[MO]

Originally Posted by Casper

Good to see sanity prevail. You wife did the right thing and should hold her head up high.

EXACTLY..more power to your wife..

[MotherNatureVer2]

Big hugs to your wonderful wife matey ...... please tell her not to cry or I will too .....

[Outbackjack]

Originally Posted by MotherNature

Big hugs to your wonderful wife matey ...... please tell her not to cry or I will too .....

Me tooo!!!

[CrankR]

Originally Posted by DOC

There is nothing wrong with the world, or your wifes guesture, where it went wrong was the way it was done.

You must first put yourself in the mothers shoes and in that familys thinking / way of life.

I have helped these people for years with countless guestures of good will similar to your wife, but to get this to work properly you need to take another approach, this is not what i think would work but from years of this work.

From the mothers view this can be very unconfortable and embarrasing, regardless of how she looks or acts, just imagine how bad you would feel, if you knew you could not afford all the things that others could and that having charity drop by can and does cause anger, this anger is not so much in this case the new shoes, but the anger would have been that she could not provide those shoes.

It is better if doing this to talk with the mother and even in that you just dont blurt out i'll buy the shoes, it needs a high level of thought, in something like a general greet and chat, then you might break into something like

hey you might be able to help me out, my sister gave me some shoes but i cant use them, they look a similar size as mary's shoes , I.m probably going to give them to the salvo's but they are like new, did you want to see if they would fit mary first ?

Or similar lines to that, you need to make the person feel like its thier idea and that it is not charity in a sense, she now would feel good as she has used her own thought pattern to save these shoes from going of the salvo's and as a mother provided for her daughter within her own means.

As above this approach is not based on what might work as i have lost count of the hundreds of times this approach has been used, to pass along clothes, toys and gifts to those who need them.

AS for the situation now where mum is upset, this would easily be fixed by quietly talking with the mum and expressing your applogies and in that you should have handled it better, now once again this may have people saying all sorts of stupid things like your joking, but done right you can reverse the mothers thinking to where she accepts the appology and feels now confortable with the outcome with the end result being this little girl gets to keep her shoes, the best outcome for all.

Couldn't agree more DOC, exactly what i was thinking as i read through each post.
Thanks for your views.

[sgt_doofey]

Group Hug!

Good to hear the principal is siding with your wife as well. It's great to know that she has not only the support at home from yourself, to a lesser extent, us here at AFF, but also her work is supporting her as well.

[DOC]

Originally Posted by Heef101

Couldn't agree more DOC, exactly what i was thinking as i read through each post.
Thanks for your views.

The sad thing is most people comments are probably right about the mum in question, i have also learnt after many years that these people rarley change their spots, you think you can help them but in the end they can't or won't help themselves and if that's the case it's just a waste of time as they never change.

And this is where special people like mrs outbackjack, step in and help make one life better, unfortunatley this kindness is often thrown back at you as has been posted, but in that and through experience you would not change it for the world, there needs to be more mrs outbackjacks for without these people what ray of sunshine do some of these kids have.

[Outbackjack]

Thanks guys.... Mrs OBJ is also a member of the "two lunch club". Every day she takes two lunch's to school. One for her, and one for one of the kids that got sent to school with no lunch. There are about 15 teachers that are doing that. I think that if truth were told, there would be 100's of schools around Australia with a similar club. Two of our kids go to St Phillips Collge here in the Alice. It is a 10K a year school. About two years ago they had a excess of funds of around a $million. They didn,t know what to do with the money. So they built a school hall that rarely gets used. At Mrs OBJ school they are looking at cutting ISA's hours to save money.
Public schools could be sooo much better with a bit more funding.

Cheers all.

[SNB05T]

[QUOTE=Outbackjack]Thanks guys.... Mrs OBJ is also a member of the "two lunch club". Every day she takes two lunch's to school. One for her, and one for one of the kids that got sent to school with no lunch.

my missus does something similar to that at the day care centre she works at. the kids get a supplied lunch at an extra cost, the parents who are tight a#ses don't pay for it and the kid starves. some people really shouldn't be able to have children, some of the stories she's told me, like yourself obj could probably start a 400 page novel with them.

we're thinking of your wife mate, let us know how she goes with it all, chin up mate :

[Tote]

Originally Posted by gcm

As the son of a casual teacher who works regularly with a few different special ed classes I hear about these sorts of problems every time I phone home and the frustration involved in being unable to help outside school hours. Well done for making the most of a bad situation and having a heart. Maybe next you could try leaving the present yourself so as it doesn't appear to come from a teacher?



This is a joke. While I'm sure they're not all the same, my mother was informed by a concerned parent that another volunteer parent had "diagnosed" her child with a serious condition that would involve actual diagnosis by an occupational therapist. The volunteer parent didn't even have an equivalent yr 10 education let alone the degree required to recognise this.

Any idea why she did it?

The more affected the child is, the more money the school gets. :jab: Can you imagine the psychological trauma the parent went through?

I meant life as a teacher in a private school as opposed to a student. There seems to be a bit less political correctness in the private system.
Regards,
Tote

[cheap]

Counter the complaint with a charge of child abuse on the dip$hit mother, take photos of the blistered feed, the small shoes etc raise all hell about her!

[Tote]

Originally Posted by tamara1779

What a joke. Here's my situation. I am a teacher at a public school. I am sitting at home today, using up sick leave because if I have to go in and work with any more morons, I swear I'll slap someone. Don't get me wrong, there are some great teachers at my school. Unfortunately the idiots who want to call kids names, berate them & just generally give them a hard time are there too. Many of these kids are coming every day without lunch, shoes, hats, books etc. I'm told that despite this obvious lack of parenting, that it is not abuse. meanwhile these kids get payed out on by ******* head teachers whose sole aim is to collect a fortnightly paycheck and make some kids lives worse than what is is now. I'm with your wife, if people like us don't stay in the system to help these kids, no other **** will. Get your missus to go to her Union rep, if the rep won't help, cantact me- I'm a rep and love feeding it to dumbs****s. You might also want to notify family services of the plight of this child. Nothing p***es me more than kids copping a hard time for no reason and those trying to help getting kicked in the a**e for it.
I have vented, feel better, but still want to smack someone!!!!

Ah, that sounds like what I hear when I get home. What state are you in? (geographic, not mental ) :voldar02:

[GXL078]

Originally Posted by Tote

I meant life as a teacher in a private school as opposed to a student. There seems to be a bit less political correctness in the private system.
Regards,
Tote

Some of the more extreme "Christian" schools can still cane the kids if the parents agree to it.

[lavenlaar]

This damn woman's in it for the money to help raise this special needs child (or for a couple of casks of goon) - i strongly recommend calling Sydney radio 2GB (131873) Mr.Alan Jones and Ray Hadley get the jobs done (from 6am-10am,& 10-1pm) they are actually talking about the DOCS / Schools reports of , this morning , and A.Jones is always on the case of Disabled kids... this may just interest them muchly.

[tamara1779]

Hey Tote, to answer your q. I'm in the great sunny state of QLD far north area

[GK]

Originally Posted by xcgxl

Some of the more extreme "Christian" schools can still cane the kids if the parents agree to it.

I am a teacher in a Christian school and on many occasions was asked by parents to organise some form of corporal punishment for their wayward children. I thought that this was a task supposed to be undertaken by the parents? Some parents unfortunately just can't get it together, or are too darn scared because of so much PC nonsense these days.

How many parents do you see at the supermarket or mall that seem so strung out, but appear powerless to reign in a cheeky little child because they are in a public place, and fearful of reporting?

Our school of course hasn't had coporal punishment as an option for a very long time, but whatever your opinions on it, I can't help wondering how much more respectful children would be if their parents set tighter boundaries, were home a little more and handed out a bit more discipline when needed.

As for Mrs OBJ, God bless you. You have a kind and caring heart. As for Betty's mum; it's sad that she put her feelings and insecurities above the welfare of her child.

GK

[woodsy109]

Calling a radio station or TV show will probably get her sacked quicker than her current problem.

I would just say to ride it out. My girlfriend is a teacher and most of them have had complaints about them for whatever reason. Its hard for them because they question if they are doing the right thing even when they almost always are in the right. The complaint will probably go nowhere but will stay against their record for good.

[Stav]

My wife is a teacher too. The rules are pretty dam strict .I think your wife is a nice lady like mine but they are not allowed to treat anyone for fear of being sued. Just a tip too..if the girl had blisters on her feet it can be reported to DOCS as this seems to indicate child abuse by these parents.They should provided her with better shoes.The hobbo's.

[chich]

Personally i would worry about it too much as its quite obvious that 'Betty's' mother is a moron who has seen an opportunity to try and make a quick buck. I would classify this person among the 'smart dumba*se' group - people who think they're smart but wouldn't know how to tie their shoe laces if their life depended on it.

It honestly gives me the sh*ts when i hear about situations like this.. people try to assist you and your child and instead of being gratefull you throw it all in their face. Furthermore, instead of being given an opportunity at a better life, the child is held back and disadvantaged as a result of the mothers (and most likely fathers) stupidity.

It may sound harsh but i think people like that should be sterilised - they don't deserve children. I know many decent people who would sacrifice anything in this world for the opportunity to have a child of their own but for some ******** up reason they're denied that joy. Then when they try to adopt a child not only are they interogated and treated like criminals, they are made to wait years on end for no reason.

Then at the other extreme you have idiots like 'Betty's' mother who punch out five kids with five different fathers to maximise their Centrelink entitlements, and they then have the nerve to complain when a thoughtfull soul tries to lend a hand for the sake of the child.

As my mate would say... feed em to the pigs

Rant over...

[XRchic]

Outback, as everyone on here has said, your wife and you did the right thing and there is no doubt about that. The mother of Betty is quick to carry on about charity, but charity begins at home... where was her "charity" to her daughter? A mother is supposed to provide at least basic needs for her children. Providing shoes which do not cause the child blisters would easily fall under that category, so by definition she has failed as a mother to provide. She may have reasons or excuses - I wont judge on that. But whatever the reason, there should be no reason why others should not help out..

The mother takes money from the government (presumably), and your wife is just another taxpayer - so where is the difference?

People like that dont deserve to have their opinions considered or valued, and so I would not take any notice of what she said on a personal level. I think it is disgusting on behalf of the government, the school or whatever, that your wife is suffering consequences of what she did! That is a whole other story and it is absolutely disgusting that she be facing any disciplinary action for that - it is hypocritical and utterly ridiculous.

You and your wife should be able to sleep at night knowing you did the right thing, with kind hearts, for the poor little child. I hope your wife doesnt cop it for what she did. And I hope it doesnt discourage her from being such a kind, thoughtful and caring person - and obviously a great teacher. I wouldnt blame her if it did change her though.

As Casper said, you did the right thing regardless of the other rubbish...

Your wife can teach my kids any time! And that mother should be thankful that your wife WAS teaching her daughter.